becoming me: one day at a time

she can read & she will sing

2011-04-25T09:56:00.000-07:00

#44 - The kids get to join us for our Easter Service every year. It was cold and misting so my kiddos snuggled up close, makes my heart melt. As worship was going Cami discovered the words to the songs in the bulletin, she pointed out to me what song they where singing. Then she started sing, right along with the worship team, right out loud, happy to be a part of it!

#45 - Still at church but more then worth a separate #...

When worship was done, Cami leaned into me and started to cry. I was so confused, couldn't figure out what was wrong. Finally I got her to tell me, "It's just so beautiful, we're all sitting outside & singing worship to Jesus. It's pretty and it makes me cry, I don't know why."

Needless to say, I was beyond touched!

my family, again

2011-04-23T13:15:00.000-07:00

#43 - Today I had a 15 mile run with Team In Training. My unselfish husband packed the kids up and headed out early all to do a water-stop for Team! I am so blessed that Cameron supports my running & raising money for LLS. It was awesome to see my kiddos running to me as I headed into mile 13. My husband rocks!

too long

2011-04-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

My life is not without blessing, I'm simply short on time.

It's a good thing. Part of being a better me, is spending less time on my computer.

#37 - Making some new friends. Through work, I'm able to be more open and talk with moms of students. Which leads to...

#38 - Finding another % of self-confidence. It's in me, I know it & I'm finding a bit here and there.

#39 - The unbelievable support of so many in my strive to raise funds for Leukemia Lymphoma Society.

#40 - Using the knowledge I received from having gestational diabetes with Caylee June to better my families overall healthy eating lifestyle.

#41 - My wonderful husband who will not let the little things go. He knows me, he knows when I'm upset/frustrated/etc & will work with me to figure it out, deal with it & move on.

#42 - (This will most likely sound super silly to you.) The sound on my phone inexplicably came back! Weird, right? The sound on my phone just went away a few months ago. Seriously, it would not make a single sound. I would constantly have to check it to see if I missed a call or text. But, one day is just started working again! Mind you, I did take it to the Apple store & it even stumped their Genius Bar Tech! Oh well, now I can hear when you call or text me ;-)

So, thanks for checking on me! I promise, I'm doin' all right :-)

finally ready for TRUE freedom

2011-03-09T21:12:00.000-08:00

#36 of 365

Pushing past the fear of being the person my Father wants me to be...so, I'm reading this book right now.

Please pray that I am open to being truly, deeply, infinitely healed and therefore changed by God. This book was bought by a very sweet lady who knows my emotional struggles. Her & her husband are ready to have Cam & I over to pray with us. To pray over me!

you do the math

2011-03-08T20:40:00.000-08:00

#35 of 365

On Tuesdays my Cami-girl gets to spend the afternoon/evening with me at work. We had daddy's truck, ('84 El Camino) so she gets to sit right there next to me (she loves being in the front seat). I reached over and she held my hand, tight, the whole drive home. We started playing a game.

Cami: "What's 100 + 500?"

Mama: "600"

Cami: "your right mama!"

(She then would proceed to explain to me how 1 + 5 = 6)

Cami: "So it's really that simple. But, I still think your smart."

LOL I love the honesty of kids. It would then be my turn to ask a math question.

To quote one of our favorite family movies, "Up"

by Russell "That might sound boring, but I think the boring stuff is the stuff I remember the most."

I'm Going On A Bear Hunt.

2011-03-02T12:29:00.000-08:00

#34 of 365

Watching my Butterfly do all the motions, sing the words & be very dramatic to this song!

I love it, brings me joy every time.

mmmmm Starbucks

2011-03-01T08:10:00.000-08:00

#33 of 365

My friend who prayed for my family & I, sent me a beautiful card of encouragement & blessed me with a Starbucks gift card! The card is now on my kitchen counter, it reminds me that someone was thinking about me & that both they and my Father love me, very much :-)

prayer & fasting

2011-02-28T19:08:00.000-08:00

#32 of 365

A sweet friend was starting a wee-long fast. She asked me what she could pray for, and allowed me to be very specific. Thank you, friend for thinking of me and my family and praying for us during your week of prayer & fasting.

lift your head & say a prayer

2011-02-22T21:20:00.001-08:00

#31 of 365

Have I shared at all how much I am so blessed to work where I work?

Well, I am! And I could go on and on why I feel this way.

The people, the families, the kids, the hugs, the smiles, all the sharing of so many things!

But for tonight, as I was packing up to come home I could hear my Master Instructor closing out the Adult class. As always, he was closing in prayer. But tonight was different, I could hear the seriousness in his voice. I stopped to listen, I stopped to join in prayer, I stopped.

Our Master Instructor (aka, my boss) asked if anyone wanted to ask Christ to live in their hearts. I work for a ministry, AWESOME! I get to share the love of the One who saved me, and loves me for me!

Oh, and 4 of our students gave their hearts to Christ tonight! Pray for each of them, may they change the world for Christ! Starting in their own homes!!

Here is where I work...ATP Training Academy & here, is the ministry I am blessed to be a part of, All Things Possible Ministries. (And I have been working to get our new websites up and going, fingers crossed I'll be able to share some pretty cool looking new sites!)

hold my hand=holding my heart

2011-02-20T18:29:00.000-08:00

#30 of 365

My little boy likes to grab hold of my hand and hold it while he walks around, like just down the hall, in the backyard, to the potty. I love it. He, grabs a hold of my hand, and he holds it. He has a good little grip and it grips all the way to my heart. With all the frustrations we have, he loves me and has his special little boy place in this mama's heart.

Thank you Father, for my little Monkey!

Sisters ROCK!

2011-02-19T22:56:00.001-08:00

My sister & 3 of her kiddos came to spend a few days with me. It was beyond wonderful to have them all here. What a fun, great way to break-up the time that my better half is out of town! And to have another mama in the house, is a huge help too! Know what I mean?

My sister gently reminded me that even though I feel like I've been piled with day upon day of bad days, I still need to find my blessings from the Lord in them. Right she is!

#25 of 365

Having some over-due sister time with Cath. We ate popcorn, jelly beans & she painted my hair all while watching 'The Devil Wears Prada'.

#26 of 365

The leisure of running to Fantastic Sam's first thing this morning to add a whole new cut to go with my newly painted hair! (My fearless sis kept my crazies busy while I took a 30 minute time-out, thanks so much Cath!)

#27 of 365

Being given a thumbs-up by someone I trust and admire when it comes to finding a good study book. I have been looking forward to going through "Made To Crave" for a while, in hopes to do a small group study with it. Cath did me the honor of reading most of the book and was liking what she read. I now will find the time to read it myself.

Anyone else interested in doing the study guide that goes with this book?

#28 of 365

Skype! It's priceless to see my sweetie most nights while he is traveling. The kids love it too!

#29 of 365

As I type this post, my sweet LadyBug is asleep in bed next to me. Listening to her steady breathing and having her inch closer to me, even while sleeping = all night snuggles with my first born. Doesn't matter she is 6 1/2 (the 1/2 is very important to her) we still enjoy our snuggles & it's not easy with a little sister & brother around who always want in on the snuggle action.

So, there's 5. All from just the past few days! Yep Cath, you are right! I just need to stop for a minute and pray, there will always be blessings in my day.

#24 of 365

2011-01-31T18:29:00.000-08:00

I think it's totally cool when something of concern to me is answered and confirmed through multiple resources (people). Realizing and continuing to learn to hear my Father's voice, weather I like the answer(s) or not, IS SO TOTALLY AWESOME!!

#23 of 365

2011-01-30T21:44:00.000-08:00

A good day, all around.

Thank you, Lord!

5 mile run with my Soul Sister
Laundry done for everyone!
Vacuumed the entire house.
All kids bathed & read to.
Dinner made by my loving-hubby
Special prayer time with my girls.
Being held by my man and speaking to our Father.
Continuing to open up to be who I really am, AND...
NOT BEING JUDGED for being me!

#22 of 365

2011-01-29T21:58:00.000-08:00

I got to dress-up, do my make-up & have a date nite with the most handsome man ever!

Check this out, we were blessed to go with some other awesome couples to see this play,

'The Screwtape Letters' by C.S. Lewis (one of my favorite authors!).

#21 of 365

2011-01-28T21:48:00.000-08:00

Listening to my husband and our 6 year old girl practicing for the 1st grade Speech Meet.

To hear the two of them working together, the squeal of delight when Cami was able to recite more of the verses. A true delight to my heart :-)

Here is what they where working on memorizing;

Psalm 27:4-6 (New King James Version)

One thing I have desired of the Lord,

That will I seek:

That I may dwell in the house of the Lord

All the days of my life,

To behold the beauty of the Lord,

And to inquire in His temple.

For in the time of trouble

He shall hide me in His pavilion;

In the secret place of His tabernacle

He shall hide me;

He shall set me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up above my enemies all around me;

Therefore I will offer sacrifices of joy in His tabernacle;

I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord.

Think you could memorize that in 5 days time? And this is in addition to the usual weekly memory verse, 14 spelling words, new math concept (fractions) & all the other daily things she gets to learn and use. (How did I ever survive school?!?) LOL

#20 of 365

2011-01-27T12:39:00.000-08:00

As I was getting ready for work, the Lord spoke to me!

I'm not one to say this often, but it was so obvious I started crying on the spot.

Not bad tears, but happy-thankful tears of being told by my Father that He heard my cry of fear and is more than enough to carry me through!

The lyrics to this song got so specific to what I have been feeling and fearing the past few days.

It was amazing, He is AMAZING!!!

Thank you for the encouragement & reminder that You will always be here and you always hear my cries and You are collecting every tear that drops.

#19 of 365

2011-01-25T20:36:00.000-08:00

An email I received from one of my fabulous sisters today:

" I will tell of the kindnesses of the LORD,
the deeds for which he is to be praised,
according to all the LORD has done for us—
yes, the many good things
he has done for Israel, (and for me)
according to his compassion and many kindnesses"

Isaiah 63:7

What can you list today??

Love you.

#18 of 365

2011-01-18T19:47:00.000-08:00

It's getting pretty hard to find a blessing, or hope in even a small thing every day...

Just being honest, being transparent, learning to be me.

I'll spill it, it was a very tough day, VERY TOUGH DAY for me today!

But my husband, my best friend, my supporter, my biggest fan, the love of my life & the one who gives the best hugs, ever! Emailed this to me today...I've decided to include the few emails we sent back and forth.

This is me, letting you in. God is doing a mighty work in me to allow this, and for that I am thankful!

Email from Cam to Jess:

Babe,

Here is the portion of Isaiah 40 that I wanted you to focus on. This is from the Message Bible. I LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVER!!!!!!

^27-31Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
"God has lost track of me.
He doesn't care what happens to me"?
Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening?
God doesn't come and go. God lasts.
He's Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don't get tired,
they walk and don't lag behind.

Email from Jess to Cam:

That, is MY hope! In Jesus, my Creator. He doesn't want me to hurt but He does want me to learn, know & always run to Him when I'm hurting.

Email from Cam to Jess:

That’s right Babe, but just remember, you never have to run to Him. He knows just where to find you, and a lot of the time, it’s when you’re at your lowest point, and you need Him to reach down His mighty hand and pick you up. The most important thing is to ALLOW Him to pick you up. He knows exactly what you need, all the time!

#17 of 365

2011-01-17T19:40:00.000-08:00

The weather was awesome out today.

Warm & sunny.

I was walking to my van and had an odd feeling,

I felt hope. Hope, plain and simple.

Simply beautiful.

Thank you Father, I love you too!

#16 of 365

2011-01-16T19:51:00.000-08:00

Starbucks strikes again!

That's not really my blessing for today, but thought it sounded kinda, sorta funny. Well, it did in my head anyway...again, my sense of humor when I'm tired...

This morning my Soul Sister & I ran a short 5.3 miles. (Short because, well, you'll see. Just stay tuned until June.) My Soul Sister, she is someone that deserves several posts about. God sent her to me (& I to her, that's what she said) when I started training for my first full marathon last year. Since our first 'long run' of 8 miles, we have been stuck together at the hip, shoe, gatorade (fruit punch berry to be exact), gu, glide, water belt & tears! She bought us matching headbands that say 'Running... cheaper than therapy'. So true! Today was no exception. The calories burned are just a bonus to the valuable conversations we have and stress we burn during our runs/time together. Thanks Nikki, you ROCK 'n roll!!

Wait, I forgot to tie in Starbucks here...we end our long runs at (pretty much) the same Starbucks every Saturday. Miss Nikki pulled out her handy gift card (very easy to cary in the case with the cell phone) and treated me to a yummy herbal tea. Saved me a ton of calories by ordering this, instead of this...

This was fun, I wanted to see how many links I could include in this one post...Amazon is amazing!

***Shameless plug alert***

I'm trying to get $130 together by January 31st so I can register for my next marathon.

Any suggestions? I'll be putting some unneeded baby items on Craigslist, that should (prayerfully) be a good start. I'm open to ideas! Thank you!

#15 of 365

2011-01-15T20:58:00.000-08:00

All about the boys...

A super, uber sweet, unselfish friend & her family offered to have our girls (both of them) for 24 hours! Run, don't walk to the van kids, mama is making a very long to-do list in her head! I'm sure Cam will be 'excited' to see all the fun things I'd love to get done when he gets home from Saturday School...

Cam, Caleb & I spent nearly 5 hours working in the front yard and garage! It was great, organizing, re-organizing, bagging up, & cleaning out all sorts of stuff.

I'm now in the process of taking pics of all the big things we are ready to sell (on Craigslist). We figure it'll be a good way to make some 'extra' cash ;-) And you know what they say, one families junk is another families space filler. I so funny, hee hee (Sorry, just my sense of humor. It's late, I'm tired.)

One of my favorite parts of the whole day, going on a neighborhood walk with my two favorite guys! The weather was perfect and I loved being realized enough to just enjoy them both.

My God is good, all the time! Amen? And yes, I even say this when the sand is piling in on me.

#14 of 365

2011-01-14T21:53:00.000-08:00

One of the 'jobs' I was blessed with this past April is being the Pen Pal Director for All Things Possible Ministries. To tell you how much this work has touched me, deep down, would take just too long. I know, that the Lord had this job for me, knowing it would be a way for Him to work on healing my heart and hurts.

Just a few of the parts of this position are;

Receiving letters from incarcerated youth, and reading each one of them!
Accepting (Pen Pal) applications from loving, willing to reach out, people who love our Father.
Receiving what we call Contact Cards from locked up youth. It's an insert that is part of the book, The Victor Marx Story, With God All Things Are Possible.
Matching up the youth who are requesting a Pen Pal.
Writing letters to the ladies that write in.
Most importantly, praying for each letter, contact card & Pen Pal!

Anywho, in December All Things Possible had the blessed opportunity to ship out thousands of The Victor Marx Story book to youth detention facilities across the nation. This could blow open doors that have been slammed shut & padlocked for us to come visit and share the light, love, and hope of our Heavenly Father!

So, today we received two special letters. One, was from a YDC saying thank you for the books. The other letter, was a request for our ministry to come in, speak, share, and visit with over 200 of their locked up youth! PRAISE THE LORD, is an understatement! Needless to say, when I opened this second letter, I started to well up with tears of praise and thanksgiving.

To learn more about this ministry and all behind it, you can friend 'Victor Marx' on facebook and signup for the ministry email by visiting their website (see link above).

#13 of 365

2011-01-13T21:17:00.000-08:00

My toffee-nut blessing...

What's your mindset when sitting in a drive-thru?

Being distracted with a million things.

the cell phone
the 'I need this/I want that' cry from the backseat(s)?
the search for your cash or debit card?
the mind numbing questions inside of 'Should I have really hit the drive thru? Couldn't I make this at home? Am I being smart with the resources I've been blessed with?'

I'm pretty much all of the above!

Today I was excited to take advantage of my come-in-to-Starbucks-for-your-free-drink-&-we-will-convince-you-to-spend-$-on-something-while-you-wait ;-) postcard...

My kids where actually enjoying all the card in front of us had for them to point-out.

the drivers pretty hair (you could see the beehive above the seat)
the bright orange, oversized die hanging from her rearview mirror
the license plate frame that said 'I heart dogs'
and the numerous bumper stickers

I did my best to respond to their excitement for all they saw. I did my best, but I could of done better. My blessing? I distractedly pulled up to the window & before I could think the barista said, it's on the lady that was in front of you. She paid your full bill & said 'happy new year'.

What? I nearly hit the gas pedal so I could catch another glimpse of her car.

Instead, I told the barista what a huge, unexpected, undeserving blessing it was & have been praying for the bee-hive, oversized orange die lady all day!

#12 of 365

2011-01-12T21:17:00.000-08:00

Jan 12th - My Wednesday Blessing

As Cami was unpacking her backpack after school today she handed an envelope to me.

Not unusual for her to bring things home for Cam & I to review or sign, etc.

As I took the envelope I realized someone had handwritten my name, and more eye catching was the 'From'. It actually said 'From Jehovah'. This took my breath, in remembering I learned that Jehovah Jireh in fact means, The Lord will provide. I realized whatever was inside this envelope, was my Father providing for something me, or my family needed.

~I don't feel it's necessary to share what was in the letter, that's not what I want to share about.~

What I do want to share, is that someone out there, responded to something our Father put on their heart. My prayer tonight, is that I listen, acknowledge, and act upon those feelings my Father puts upon my heart. It could be for you!

Thank you Daddy for loving me so much that you chose someone(s) who loves you and listens to your prompting. Please bless them ten fold!

#11 of 365

2011-01-12T21:16:00.002-08:00

#11 of 365

It seems like I often realize things as I'm talking out another situation...

Somehow in sharing with a friend yesterday I realized something wonderfully special about my Daddy. His loving way to gently handle my ever-fragile heart.

I also got to have a strong, good memory of the Easter morning my daddy went home to be with our Father. It's not often I get to, or allow myself to, remember much about my daddy, especially during his illness and most definitely his final morning with me.

Never doubt, our Father handles our fragile heart with beyond gentle hands, in every situation!

#10 of 365

2011-01-12T21:16:00.001-08:00

#10 of 365

I had a good day. It may sound simple to you, but to me, it's a HUGE deal to have a good day!

It was that simple!

#9 of 365

2011-01-12T21:13:00.004-08:00

#9 - Training, in full sprint!

One of my best friends & I went for our first official training run this morning. We're on, training for our next full marathon. San Diego RnR, here we come! Okay Nikki, let's do this thing (again)!

The blessing in running when it's freezing outside, the conversations I get to have with my most awesome running partner, my 'Soul Sister'!

#8 of 365

2011-01-12T21:13:00.003-08:00

#8 - Tazo tea me, please.

He's at it again, Cameron showering me with his love! I was at work with the kids, he'd had a meeting in the morning (it was a Saturday) & when he showed up at my work, he had a venti tazo green tea in hand. Yummy! So, it's half the cost & no calories compared to my "usual". Silly? No, because Cam & I are learning to 'live like no one else, so we can live like no one else'. (You'll know that quote if you've ever heard about Dave Ramsey.)

#7 of 365

2011-01-12T21:13:00.001-08:00

#7 - My man rocks, he gets me!

Battling, working through, dealing with, however you wanna view "it"...Dealing with depression is the total pits. But, in hearing my best friend (aka, Cam) and a good friend of ours (who shall remain nameless) having a conversation about me, um me? Yeah, it seems odd at first, but my husband was seeking wisdom from someone who loves our Father and we can trust with our very hearts. To hear my husband talk about his deepest concerns for me and how I'm doing, simply overwhelmed me. And to top it off, my husband wants only the best for me! He has been praying about and considering offering me something that would be totally unselfish for him. I learned a bit more about how my Heavenly Father feels about me and loves me so unselfishly!

#6 of 365

2011-01-12T14:23:00.001-08:00

#6 - Why walk when you can use someone else's car?

Kids where in bed, my jammies where on, Cam & I where watching our DVD series "Everybody Loves Raymond" & someone knocked on our front door. The nerve...we're in our jammies! Come on, it's already 8:15pm!!! (Ah, gotta love the sarcasim ;-)

Okay, keeping in short...Cam's car has been in the shop for over a month now, yes a month! And the car will stay in the shop until the Lord decides we need it back. In the mean while, my ever-loving husband has been walking to/from work. We are learning to make it work with one vehicle. Not a big deal, really. It feels good to have things changed up a bit. I may not be making sense...that's okay. This is more for me, really. (Sorry, don't mean that in a selfish way. I promise.)

Back to 8:15pm on Thursday night...a very unselfish family, simply dropped off one of their cars, keys & simply said. You can use it, if you'd like. Either way, it's all yours for now. This isn't just a small thing, a small blessing, no..it's huge! Thank you Xxxx family, you bless us, daily!

Oh, did I mention this car actually belongs to a 17 year old! Yeah, a teenager!

#5 of 365

2011-01-12T09:42:00.001-08:00

#5 - A quickly-acted-upon thought...

It was probably a quick thought my dear sister had, to revamp the look of my old blog. (Haven't written on it in over a year!) Carrie simply asked, think you'd wanna revive your blog, so you can share your 365 project there? Seems like a pretty good idea, easier to do long or short thoughts on a blog, instead of making you read through these too long "Notes" here on facebook...So, my talented sis is giving my blog a face lift! I'll set up a new note with the link!

#4 of 365

2011-01-11T21:00:00.001-08:00

#4 - How small is too small?

Mark 9:23 "What do you mean, `If I can'?" Jesus asked. "Anything is possible if a person believes."

Matthew 17:20 "You didn't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I assure you, even if you had faith as small as a mustard seed you could say to this mountain, `Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible."

Luke 17:6 "Even if you had faith as small as a mustard seed," the Lord answered, "you could say to this mulberry tree, `May God uproot you and throw you into the sea,' and it would obey you!

Before I knew it there were nearly 20 students on the dojo floor, at least a dozen and a half parents in the lobby & 3 new families standing before me. It's only Tuesday, not (normally) our busiest day of the week and it's our first day back from Christmas break (thought for sure it would a bit slower then the norm...).

This all pertains to the wonderful "job" I've been blessed to have since last March.

I have learned a tremendous amount the last 9 months, not the least of which is how my Father works in our lives. How He works for the good of those who love Him. From this, just as I type and pray for the best way to share my heart tonight, I have two "mustard seed faith" stories. Feel like reading a bit?

First (the story I intended to share)... My boss, though I don't think he likes me to call him that, said just last week, "this is it, we are stepping out in faith that the Lord will provide according to how he sees fit". So, from last Wednesday, we laid the needs & concerns of ATP Training Academy at the foot of the cross. Just where it is suppose to be! And less then one week later, I'm so busy all my "must be processed, new students" paperwork was put in a box (yup, a box!) and brought home to be added to our growing student database! And all it took, was faith as small as the size of a tiny mustard seed!!

Second, I have tried several different ways to relate to you what I want to share. It's been nearly 40 minutes and I still am not confident, or have a peace, about how to best explain #2. So, I'll pray about how best to share, but know, it's just another wonderful thing that is teaching me to be a bit more optimistic in every day things! All thanks to my Heavenly Daddy :-)

Also, these "thoughts" seem to be getting pretty long...not what I had expected, but am thankful for none the less. I'll start a new 365 Note every 7 days I think. Plus, I love when you all comment. So I figure to have multiple notes for you all to comment on, instead of just 1 is fun (for me!).

#3 of 365

2011-01-11T12:39:00.000-08:00

#3 - A colorful promise, He thought of ME!?!

I've heard countless times in numerous ways how much my Heavenly Father loves ME and knows the number of hairs on my head, etc, etc... Not to discount any of that, by no means! But, being the pessimist that I am (right?) it seemed almost unreal that this beyond amazing, always loving, quickly forgiving, Heavenly Daddy would have had me on His mind when they put those nails through His hands. Anyone with me on this, maybe to a lesser degree? All this to say, when reading my Bible this morning (another resolution for me, on a daily basis!) I read something very simple, part of a long story, and I know I've heard it and read it before. Most likely, you have too!

Genesis 9:16 "The rainbow shall be in the cloud, and I will look on it to remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is on the earth." NKJV

So, whenever there is that colorful, beautiful, arch in the sky (that we love to point out to our kids, or vice versa) there is an ever-loving God in Heaven who thought of YOU and the promise He made to YOU a very long time ago. Maybe this is the only promise anyone has ever kept with you?!? Think about it, ask about it, some one in your life is willing to help you learn about it!

#2 of 365

2011-01-10T21:23:00.000-08:00

#2 - Having (just another) discussion with the hubby.

Sounds typical, maybe? But, having my husband snuggled up to me & start to talk about what we would like to do. Not just today, this week, or even this month. We discussed our goals for our family, our prayer requests for now & the future, our finances and what we hope to accomplish in different areas of our unity. It made my heart soar. How often you hear others discuss their future when it comes to a wedding, kids, buying a home or car. But, we should never stop planning or even dreaming!

#1 of 365

2011-01-10T20:04:00.000-08:00

My goal, to add a blessing every day to this list.

My reason, to look back at this list, as often as needed, to remind me that my Father will show me daily he loves me. It comes in all ways, not always obvious & those are the ones I want to learn to appreciate and praise my Lord for!

#1 - My baby boy climbed onto my lap, blanket in hand, curled up & took an hour nap.

Why a blessing? He's 2 1/2 years old, doesn't really need a nap and we where at a friends house! His way of showing that I can still bring him enough comfort to completely relax, a wonderful mama moment for me.

pessimist, no more?!?

2011-01-10T10:52:00.000-08:00

*This was originally posted on Facebook in my "Notes" section, but through encouragement, will now be posting my 365 in 365 notes on my blog...thanks Cam & Cares for the encouragement!

pes·si·mist

[pes-uh-mist] Show IPA

–noun

1. a person who habitually sees or anticipates the worst or is disposed to be gloomy.

2. an adherent of the doctrine of pessimism.

clinical depression

–noun

Psychiatry

a depression so severe as to be considered abnormal,either because of no obvious

environmental causes, or becausethe reaction to unfortunate life circumstances is more intense

or prolonged than would generally be expected.

I'm not one to open up to many people, I'm not one to share my deepest thoughts, I'm not one who wants to let you in. I'm not just one, I'm one of far too many females out there!

My thoughts will be scattered, for sure. My consistency will be lacking, I know. My words could be confusing, often. And my faith & belief in my Lord may upset or offend you. But, I feel I am doing what I'm suppose to do. Sharing it ALL, as I'm lead.

Pretty much for as far back as I can remember (around junior high age) I would consider myself to be pessimistic. Not too unusual for a lot of people. Since last November (2009) I have been diagnosed with clinical depression*. Sadly, this too is quickly becoming not too unusual for a lot of people.

Being a pessimist is something I am (for the most part), fine with. Never thought of wanting that to change, it is a part of what makes me who I am. But, dealing with (severe) clinical depression is something I very much want to change, for the good. I now see these two personality influences, for me, go hand in hand. Therefore, let's work on changing them both, shall we? The whole thought process, idea of "change" has come from the inspiration of my wonderful husband and best friend.

Now, it's time to start on the path to being a bit more positive...

"365 in 365"

In another Note (blog post) I will update, what exactly that is :-)

*Side Note - There is a whole lot more to "this" and I know at some point I'll share bit by bit. Because it is a part of who I am, like it or not. Not you, me!

Because He died, I live. & need to choose to live more boldly and stand out from the rest.

Jess

2011-01-08T22:06:00.001-08:00

Wow - It's been a loooong time, over a year!Let's not move too fast, okay?

How about, just a few recent pics to start...

Butterfly's 1st Haircut

2009-11-19T08:19:00.000-08:00

So yesterday I took Caylee for her first haircut. It went ok, not great. We had been talking about it for days and I would kind of "explain" what would happen during this new event. But, once we got in the door, she clung to me like jeans after a water ride! (That's an odd way to explain it...)

Anyway, here are a few pictures & just a few because Caylee had to sit in my lap! Oh and when you see her, be sure to ask about her haircut, as of this morning at school, she loves telling anyone who will listen about it! My little funny-bunny :-)

And I didn't much care for them trying to "straighten" her hair, so I had to take a few more pics after bathtime to show how much her curls come back. Love it!

busy HAPPINESS

2009-11-03T13:39:00.000-08:00

Yes, I do realize it's been over a month since I last posted anything on this poor BLOG, my apologies to my family & friends who have been waiting ever so patiently.

I have thought nearly every day of wanting to sit and post something, pictures, thoughts, praise reports, prayer requests, etc. But, I have instead taken the time to pray about how I spend my time. At this point, with all the Lord has brought into my life, I will

concentrate on all things "non internet". I do

want to let any of you interested, know that I do post pictures & very short, quick musings o

n Facebook. (For me, at this point in life, it is much quicker & easier to use Facebook for photos & scrapbook layouts too.) If you haven't already, please request me as a friend. I would be blessed to get to know you more.

For a few that may be curious, here are just some of the things that I am happy to say now occupy my time;

Being a Mama to a 5 year old, full time, Kindergardener & helping out with classroom stuff. I love being involved!
Working with said 5 year old, learning to read & write, it's awesome to watch her read a book!
Getting involved with Cami in a program I grew up in, Missionettes.
Keeping up with the my ever busy 2 1/2 & 15 month old cuties...need I really say more? I will...
Caylee is now potty trained, it went so easy, praise the Lord! She is quite the little chatter box & is doing great learning all colors, shapes, letters & counting.
Working with both Caylee & Caleb learning ASL.
Becoming involved in a Mom's Group, MomSpace (God has given me some wonderful new friends through this group.)
Diving into my Father's Word with some great ladies every week @ CBS.
Of course the training & running of my first half marathon (side note: I actually trained for a FULL marathon, which made running the half a breeze!)
Still loving to get to contribute as part of the Design Team for a great monthly kit club, PersonalScrapper. Which means I have to scrap at least a few times a month, great excuse!
And the most important "stuff" keeping me busy, keeping my Father in first place, and my family right there by my side.
There is always more, but I'm done trying to bore, or impress you :-)

So, for now, I won't promise any pictures posted here soon. But I would like to share just a handful of pics taken during the month of October. I hope you enjoy them.

Football Season

2009-09-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

Football season is in full swing around here. As always, the kids & I love the games & it's getting so fun to have all 3 run around and enjoy the crowd and seeing Daddy at the end of every game, down on the field!

2009-09-01T15:47:00.001-07:00

Make a Smilebox slideshow

take a deep breath, He's watching out for YOU

2009-09-01T12:35:00.000-07:00

This was an email I received from a good friend. For me it serves as a good reminder that my Father always has my best at heart. I think it's always good to be reminded of that. So, with back to school here and everything else that takes our focus of the One who loves us more than we will ever understand, take a deep breath, read a short post & hug your kiddos the next time they "drive ya nuts" because they make you late for something. :-)

~Where God wants me~

As you might remember, the head of a company survived 9/11
because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.

One of them
Missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.

One's
Car wouldn't start.

One couldn't
Get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work
But before he got there, he developed a blister on his foot.

He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today..

Now when I am
Stuck in traffic ,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ...
All the little things that annoy me.
I think to myself,
This is exactly where God wants me to be
At this very moment..

Next time your morning seems to be
Going wrong ,

The children are slow getting dressed,
You can't seem to find the car keys,
You hit every traffic light,
Don't get mad or frustrated;
It May be just that
God is at work watching over you.

May God continue to bless you
With all those annoying little things
And may you remember their possible purpose.

he's walkin'

2009-08-31T15:28:00.000-07:00

So he's been taking steps for months, but just last week he's decided it may be better to walk then crawl...so glad he waited as long as he has. Because now, yikes! Look out world, here comes trouble :-)

Official Kindergartner

2009-08-12T15:50:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was one of the hardest days I have had since becoming a Mama 5 years ago. It was our Ladybug's first day of Kindergarten! And just as expected, she did awesome & I cried...it was a blessing to me that she had no problem being left at school but Caylee & I didn't handle it so well. As we drove away from the school I said out loud "why does this have to be so hard" and I guess you could tell by my voice I was crying because Caylee then says "you all right mama?" such a sweetie she is. Throughout the day Caylee kept asking where sister was & why she was still at school. Try explaining that to a 2 year old!

Here are the pictures I captured for Cambrielle's first day of Kindergarten.

(BTW-Cami picked out her own first-day outfit, shoes & hair style.)

The official posed shot for Mama:

Cami wants to be sure everyone knows what backpack she picked out:

Cami's self-declared "Princess Pose for Grammy":

Cami & her teacher, Miss Kathy

(This lady is wonderful, she is one of the loving parents who helped me with the kiddos during the football season last year.)

Cami starting to "get over" all the pictures I insist on taking:

"I'm done with pictures now Mama, you can go."

And of course, Cami ignoring me & ready to start her first official project for Kindergarten:

A few side notes about the day:

The classroom is decorated in a hawaiian theme, so you know I LOVE IT! Each set of desks is a different island & they move throughout the year. Maybe a trip to Hawaii is in order to help Cami learn more about the state...

Our Squirt & Boo are having a hard time adjusting to 2 things, sister being gone all day & a new nap schedule...this is a good way to "test" Mama!

Although Cami & I tend to "butt heads" I missed her so much, it hurt! Maybe Caylee & Caleb can stay home a few more years then expected...

for our Princess from her favorite princess

2009-08-05T15:47:00.000-07:00

Our Ladybug has so enjoyed telling just about everyone in ear shot that she is now 5 years old. Five, I can not believe it. Just like everyone said, it flew by! On her big day (last Friday) our very own princess received a call from none other, than Bell (you know, the princess from Beauty & the Beast). Here is what I was able to catch on video...

She also got to open a gift from the Postma family. These pics are for you Auntie Coco!

Finally, we topped our Peanut's special day with a bonfire at the beach. She also had a s'more for the first time, not a fan! In her most delicate way, she spit out the bite in her mouth & handed the remains over.

Did you notice Cami was wearing a Sleeping Beauty dress? This will be her Halloween costume, but I let her wear it on her special day. I think she just loved being able to wear it out to the grocery store. The clerk was very sweet, wished her a happy birthday, commented on how pretty she was & gave us a balloon and stickers. I think all in all, our Cami Princess had a nice birthday. She is now very excited to starting Kindergarten next week!

silly & sweet

2009-08-03T15:09:00.001-07:00

So one of our favorite people went to Hawaii a few weeks ago. While away she phoned to ask the kids clothes sizes & here is what our girls got...

2 silly sisters

2 sweet sisters

Aren't they just adorable? Yeah, the girls are pretty cute too...

Thanks Amber for thinkin' of us while you where sunning yourself in beautiful Hawaii!

(Pics of Caleb in his outfit will come next week...)

little Mama

2009-07-24T15:14:00.000-07:00

Do you know what our Squirt is doing?

I guess Caylee does pay attention to what Mommy is doing. She has started to nurse her dolls. She covers up, changes sides "half way through" & even burps them! A few times she has pulled out a clean diaper & tried to put it on a doll. I love it, it's fun to see her be mama-like.

Trouble Maker

2009-07-15T09:33:00.000-07:00

Our Butterfly has become very independent over the past few months, here are just a few examples...

She loves to brush her teeth & wash her hands. Not bad things, unless you don't pay attention to the quietness that over-takes the house when she is "busy"....you can't really tell but the soap is purple and it was up past her elbows, on her legs & when we moved the step it was on the floor too! Hey, now my bathroom is squeeky clean & smells good too!

I was getting the bathtub cleaned up & realized it was very quiet...I walked into the living room to find this scene. Praise the Lord Caleb isn't alergic to popcorn! Of course he did proceed to throw-up much of what he ate.

Beach Trip

2009-07-07T20:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday we had the absolute joy of going to the beach with some great friends. It was a perfect day & all of us enjoyed every minute of it! Here are a few pictures to prove that each of us loved it!

Another Party!!!

2009-07-01T10:10:00.000-07:00

Wanna come & play?

2009-06-24T09:46:00.000-07:00

Mama got some New Kicks!

2009-05-30T09:46:00.000-07:00

Pretty spiffy, right? I think so! Those my friends, are my official, "I don't care how crazy you think this mother of 3 is, I'm running a half marathon!" shoes. Yeah, I crack myself up.

So, last Saturday as part of my TNT time, we went to the Running Center. We learned all about the importance of wearing the right shoes, socks, clothes, using something called BodyGlide, & even some interesting looking stuff called Energy Gel.

It was really cool, at the store they have a short path that you run down. They watch to see how you "step" & then determine what types of shoes would work best for you. I tried on nine different shoes & ran the path each time. I felt pretty special, I don't believe I have ever tried that many pairs of shoes on, for any reason!

A new term I am quickly understanding is "cotton is rotten", this is just in regards to running/working out of course. But, they really stress how bad it is to wear cotton while training. Why? You sweat, chaff & get blisters a lot more with cotton. (I realize you may already know this, but this Mama is excited about learning all these new facts.)

As for today, our team met @ 6:25am and after a team building exercise, a pep talk, & some training we were off & running! We went 2 miles today & you know what, I felt great when we were done. Our coaches are teaching us the Jeff Galloway method for marathon training, it's gonna be awesome!

OK, back to being a full time Mama. The kids need snacks, hugs, diaper changes, and I need a shower!

Don't forget to visit my TNT page & donate!

<<<<----------------

2009-05-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

look to the left...

did you see it?

It's a new "blinkie" & you gotta click on it!!!

Mama's helper?

2009-05-15T13:56:00.000-07:00

You gotta love it when your older kids try to help out with the smaller ones...

Imagination Band

2009-04-27T19:02:00.000-07:00

I just had to pick up our camera & capture the kids playing their instruments along with one of their favorite "friends", Boz the big green bear. (The kids love to watch his videos.)

It does go on a bit long, sorry for you, but not for me ;-)

Enjoy!

And because our Buba Boo Bear is just too cute not to add this...

He has become quite the chatterbox!

never too late

2009-04-23T19:45:00.000-07:00

I could write a whole lot about how Caylee June is so the middle child, but not to her own fault. Instead I know everyone knows she is our middle child & with Caleb coming so soon after her arrival, well, I just have note been able to do the things with Caylee in the same time frame I had done them with Cami...

So this all important first, finally at 2 years of age, I give you

Caylee June's First Ponytails!

2 side notes for you all, I think it's clear that Caylee in no way liked the ponytails, at first. But once she saw herself in the mirror, she started laughing & saying she was funny, then she pulled out our "hair pretty" case & insisted on putting more fun stuff in her hair, so cute!

Second, this is the first time I have uploaded a video & to see that it worked, hold the phone, a whole new world has opened up to this mama, you may just be bombarded with videos of my family!

today...

2009-04-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

For my loving family & friends who want me to post something every day...no promises, but thanks for enjoying my updates as much as I do ;-)

Here is what the kiddos got up to tonight after bathtime...yes, we headed outside because it was too hot to play out there all day!

Caleb braking through our screen door! LOL

The girls enjoying their "rides".

OK Dad, this is how it's gonna go...

I'm gonna get you by the nose & your goin down!

Got it?

how do you do it?

2009-04-18T21:55:00.000-07:00

I now belong to an evil organization called Facebook

If you are on it, then you know what I'm talking about. It seriously can suck you in! Don't do it!

I have found that with the small amount of time I allow myself on the computer during the week I check my email, read friends blogs, try to see what my scrap friends are up to over atPersonalScrapper.com & of course see if there are any more friends from my past have found me on Facebook...after all of this, I have no time left to blog. I'm not thinking that's ok. I love to share my thoughts and especially pictures of my beautiful kids. But with my absence of blogging I'm starting to think there must not be many who read my blog. So, who are you? Let me know, leave me a comment and/or become a "follower". I'm curious & I want to know if there are people out there who enjoy my random updates and many pictures of my kiddos...

And to keep my family who reads this happy, here are just a very few pictures from Easter. You'll notice that our Butterfly was NOT into taking pictures...

take 5

2009-04-02T09:31:00.000-07:00

Doesn't that face just make you smile?

A few weeks ago my sis was sweet enough to snap some pictures of our family. I have been wanting updated family pics since our Boo was a few weeks old, but you know how it goes...anyway, I am so thankful that Cath did this for us. We had a good time & she gave me over 200 pictures to edit, crop, and play with. Soon, hopefully I'll have a few to put up on our walls. Here are just a handful of my favorites. It's so funny the progression that came with some of these photos, like the above Caleb was just being a real stinker. He kept crawling toward the camera. And there was Caylee who just didn't want to look at the camera & of course Cami who loves to pose except for on the day we are getting our pictures taken! The two shots of the girls running is the joy they have when playing with their cousins, I am so thankful for such a wonderful family.

OK, enjoy!

Happy Birthday Caylee June

2009-03-30T14:50:00.000-07:00

This weekend we got to celebrate our beautiful Butterfly!

Our theme was Minnie & Mickey Mouse. This seems to be her favorite thing right now. It was so fun to see all the fun stuff she was blessed with.

The shoes are so adorable & it's a big deal that she willingly put them on. Normally, you can not get her to put anything other then crocs on, seriously!

2009-03-11T13:14:00.000-07:00

So, shall I say yet again, I'm so busy I just don't have nor make the time to update my blog...I am sorry because I cherish those of you who read about my family & all our goings on. And because I am lacking in time right now, I would like to share just a few pictures with you...enjoy!

CHA - CHA - CHA

2009-01-23T19:58:00.000-08:00

and I'm off...but not before I have 3 more loads of laundry, cleaning up the kitchen, packing all 3 kids & myself, putting lunches 'n snacks together for my "working" days to come, return books to the library, a quick grocery shopping trip, a stop at Target & a few items from Babies R Us, and um, I know there has got to be more that must be done before I'm gone for 4 days...even with how crazy I have felt over the past few days preparing to be "away" I am super excited.

If you are still reading, then you either really care about what I'm up to or, you know what CHA is. This is my third year attending this awesomely fun tradeshow and my second year working for my uber talented Sis, Carrie & her fantastic company, Paper Trunk. I have a great time being a Sales Rep again, almost miss doing that...but I really love the fellowship, giggles, stories, prayers & sometimes even tears that I get to share with a few of my very dear friends; Carrie (of course), Corinn e, & Megan. I am also looking forward to seeing my friends (and boss) from PersonalScrapper.com I know Erica will be picking out some fabulous product for our upcoming kits!

Here we are last year, Megan, Corinne, me & Carrie.

(And for the record, both Megan & I were pregnant in this picture.)

Friday Fun

2009-01-20T09:25:00.000-08:00

This past Friday Cam had only a half day at school, yeah!

So when he got home before nap time we loaded the kids up & headed to Newport Dunes to visit Grammy & Papa for the evening. The kids loved the park & all the ducks. We got to have a nice dinner out & a (mostly) quiet ride home.

Thanks Mom & Dad for having us out! We love spending time with you guys.

just call me auntie, auntie, auntie

2009-01-16T12:56:00.000-08:00

Yup, that's right, I'm gonna be an Auntie again, times three!!!

A huge congratulations to Chris & Corinne!

Oregon Trip - 1st story

2009-01-07T15:38:00.000-08:00

We got to spend almost two weeks in Oregon with the Postma family, & loved it! I have a ton of pictures & some pretty good stories to share. I'll try & post something new every few days. I hope you enjoy the adventures with me...

What is your worst fear when flying with your kids? Not the plane going down or anything crazy like that, but I mean like what would your kid(s) have to do to make you not want to fly with them until they are teenagers? Think about it...OK, are you ready for this?

On Thursday, December 25th we got to spend 3+ hours at the Ontario airport waiting for our flight to depart for Portland. We knew it had been delayed a bit before leaving for the airport, but once we got there we learned it had been delayed a lot longer...oh well. The kids all did great. Fortunately the airport was practically empty so the girls had a "pic-nic" lunch & then ran around for a while. We boarded our flight & were on our way. The flight was good, the kids all did GREAT! Almost too good to be true...

**WARNING: If you have weak stomach, stop reading now...**

Fast forward to Monday, January 5th, our date of departure. It started out great, the flight was scheduled to leave on time, dropping off our rental car was super easy & we got right to the airport and checked in without a glich...after feeding Caleb I realize he has a very nice odor coming from his back-side. Once in the restroom I realize his diaper wasn't attached so poop is nearly upto his armpits & yes, his clothes have poop on them too...fortunately I have the every spare outfit in the diaper bag, the problem? It's too small, no big surprise, but we make it work.

The first two hours of the flight go smooth enough. Other then Caylee being so tired & therefore a bit fussy, it's good. (To help the visual of the situation, Cami has a seat next to Cam with Caylee in his lap & I am across the aisle with Caleb in my lap. God bless the sweet teenager sitting next to me, she smiled & made cute faces at him whenever he started to fuss.)

We have maybe 40 minutes left in our flight and Cami announces she has to potty. Not a surprise considering she had a chocolate milk before we took off & two cups of cranberry juice since take-off. So, we sit Caylee in a seat by herself & Cam walk a few seats back to the only bathroom on our small plane. It's fun holding a big 5 month old & keeping my "free" hand stretched across the aisle to keep a fiesty 21 month old in daddy's seat.

Anywho, the flight is coming to an end (praise the Lord!), the seat belt sign is on, the flight attendants are strapped in too, we are descending & Cami says, in a VERY URGENT manner, "I gotta pee, I gotta pee". Oh, great. Cam starts singing to her & trying to her to join in (keep her mind off the impending explosion of her bladder), no dice. She continues to loudly exclaim her need to potty. Caylee joins in on the upsetness & is not easily soothed. Now Caleb isn't the happiest, but not joining in on the complaining. Cam & I decide to trade, he takes Caleb & I take Caylee. Not two seconds, seriously, after I have Caylee in my arms she shared the cranberry juice & cheese crackers she snacked on a few hours prior...yes my friends, she puked, barfed, heaved, regurgitated, etc, etc, all over mama!

Oh, my, goodness...picture this, Cami is on my far left crying out she needs to potty (now accompanied by panicky crying), Cam is trying to keep her calm while holding a very wide-eyed Caleb. Across the aisle I am covered, literally in pink & orange vomit & holding a crying Caylee. (Who, by the way, won't snuggle onto me because I have stinky icky's all over the front of me...)

We finally land & yell out to the flight attendant we have potty emergency. She gives Cam the thumbs up & we sent Cami back to the potty.

We pull in & let everyone else off the plane, the gentleman that was "hit" by our "flying debree" was gracious enough to not even care & even says, hey, it happens with kids. God bless him!

This story isn't over, but, I have been trying to finish this post for a week now...gonna hit publish & give you more later.

our own little Charlie Brown

2008-12-12T22:33:00.000-08:00

OK so back in early October Cam & I joked about Caleb looking a bit like Charlie Brown, because of his generous sized noggin & the cute little 3 hairs on top of his head. For Halloween I had actually tried to find a yellow shirt I could make into a Charlie Brown look-alike. Have you ever tried finding a yellow shirt for a baby? It proved to be pretty impossible for me. Anyway, the idea fell through and I had to just let it go...until my latest trip to Target. I do my best to stay away from the kids clothing because I can always find something the kids "need". I didn't have much will power this last trip & I'm so glad. I started laughing when I saw this onsie. A few things that made this even better, the size he has on is 12 months, let us remember he is only 4 months old! Also, the neck hole on this thing is HUGE. I guess they figure if there is a boy out there who wants to wear this, he's got a big noggin like Charlie. I love having a little boy!

TAG, I'm it!

2008-12-02T08:26:00.000-08:00

OK I have been tagged by three people with this request, so I suppose I should do it now...

Thanks Corinne, Cathy & Erica

Corinne had actually tagged me a few weeks ago & I have seriously been thinking about what to post for that long...sad, I know.

The rules are:

- Link to the person (or in this instance, people) who tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.

- Share 7 random and or weird facts about yourself.

- Tag 7 people at the end of your post & include links to their blogs.

- Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. It takes everything in me to buy something when it's NOT on sale. It's pretty rare that I do this, and when I do, I almost always have to tell Cam. It's like I feel guilty for not getting the best deal out there...even on cheez-its.

2. I am extremely self-critical & I believe that is what leads to my very low self-esteem. Thankfully my ever loving husband and best friend has helped me to improve over the years.

3. If you would have asked me 10 years ago what I would be doing with my life in the future, I would have said "Still working full time in the South Pacific travel industry and married with one child". It's amazing the things our Lord can change in us when we allow it. I love my full time job of SAHM with three beautiful and very energetic kids.

4. My toe nails must be painted, even in the winter (not that you can consider what we have experienced in Murrieta winter) I have always felt that I have somewhat big feet and think that the polish & added toe rings help make them tolerable.

5. I love flip-flops & hooded sweatshirts. I already have too many of both but alas, I can always find more colorful flip-flops that look fun & of course when visiting a new place (Cannon Beach, OR) or an old favorite (SeaWorld), I need a sweatshirt that has the name, or something of the sort on it. I think it's safe to say, if Stacy & Clinton visited my home, they would trash everything in my closet...a side note for those who don't already know, I wore flip-flops on my wedding day, yes, walking down the aisle & all the way through the reception.

6. I am constantly trying to think ahead of all the things that need to get done, (you know, meals for the week, nap times, nursing schedule, laundry, errands to run, playdates to arrange, the list is continuous) but know that only half will most likely be accomplished before I collapse in bed that night. But what mom doesn't do this?

7. I have to have some type of noise on in the house. It's usually the TV, not a good habit for my kids, I know. But a good thing with our new tv service is the music channels. That way I have good tunes goin' in the background & I'm not tempted to just sit & watch whatever is on. It's fun when the girls & I break out and just start dancing. I love watching their free spirit and it inspires me to relax and enjoy my life.

And the lucky winners of being tagged by me are...

& we're out

2008-11-23T12:24:00.000-08:00

Well, Friday night was our last game for the 2008 season. Contrary to popular belief, I am sad. Although it is a lot of work to go to the games, I love it! And so do the kids. I'm gonna take this opportunity to brag on my husband. From my perspective, being his wife, best friend & I'd like to think his biggest fan, he put his heart and soul into this season and gave his all to the other coaches on his staff & of course his players. I'll admit I feel great pride when it's announced before every game "Head Coach, Cameron Stevens". If I didn't have Caleb in the sling on me, I'd jump up and down to go along with my clapping & hollering I already do.

I am thankful we made it through this first season, we (Cam & I) learned a lot over the past several months, it has been and will continue to be a wonderful journey the Lord has started us on. I very much look forward to all the seasons to come.

At the beginning of the season, I tried to go to a game on my own with all 3 kids. It became quickly apparent that I needed help. With having Caleb either nursing, or sleeping in my sling, I simply needed another set of hands for the girls. God is so good, not but minutes after sending up a quick prayer of help did some of the players moms come over & offer to help. From that game on someone was always by my side to help get the girls their dinner & snacks, take Cami to the bathroom and allow me to watch a few minutes of the game. It was a real blessing to me and the kids. I'm happy to say that I learned a good lesson and am thankful for all the moms who unselfishly helped in all ways.

An extra special thanks to our friend Kathy, she's the beautiful lady in this picture with Caylee. Kathy went above and beyond for us. Not a game went by without Kathy bringing the girls some special treats. She would also have me call her when I arrived at the games & would walk to the van and help me load everyone and every thing on the stroller. Her husband and daughter also loved helping out with the kids. Thank you Nicholson family!

(This post was written last weekend, but I never hit "publish" LOL!)

Halloween...re-visited

2008-11-18T08:23:00.000-08:00

OK, so I never shared our Halloween/costume pictures.

The girls got to go to Cami's gymnastics place all dressed up & play, they both had a blast and as you might be able to tell it was hard to get them to stand still long enough for a picture.

Our own Princess Bell

Being oh so lady like ;-)

The girls in action.

Of course, our Butterfly, as a butterfly.

Although Caleb went to gymnastics with us, he had only dressed up as a sleepy little brother. So that night I put his little lion costume on him, it lasted as long as it took to get these pictures.

This shot is just for you Auntie Coco.

Caylee June

2008-11-17T09:01:00.000-08:00

Our little Butterfly is definitely developing her own, strong personality. Here are a few pictures to help capture just a couple of the many moods, and new faces that are quickly becoming part of every day around here.

Caylee climbing into Caleb's crib, she likes to play with the mobile. Can't blame her, she loved it when this was her bed too. Also, this week she discovered she could climb in & out of her pack'n play. Good times at nap & bed time now...all you moms know what I mean.

Mama practicing the technique developed by Auntie Coco, "Hair Art"

Caylee has learned to say "cheeeeese" when the camera comes out.

"Show me your funny face"

And now she's mad because Mama took the camera away...she'll back up until she falls on her bottom then makes an unforgettable "I'm really not happy with you right now Mama" face. Hope to catch in on camera soon.

Nothin' But Pictures

2008-11-16T13:02:00.001-08:00

Just wanted to share some pictures of the kids from this past week, enjoy.

it's official...

2008-11-09T10:12:00.000-08:00

this BLOG needs a serious over-haul...stay tuned, but don't hold your breath - it's gonna take a while...

strong supporters

2008-11-05T10:35:00.000-08:00

Cam & I decided we needed to show our support for some of the candidates in our local City Council. So, for the first time, we put some of those yard signs in front of our house. We wanted to be sure that our neighbors, anyone driving down the street, and those taking pictures from space, would know just how much we support...

Now do you seriously believe we did this? Let's remember my husband is a 11th grade teacher & the Head Football Coach. So I ask again, do you seriously think we would do this? Sorry, had to be sarcastic this morning. Also note, Cam's truck was covered with signs. I'm thankful they didn't fill his truck bed up with more signs...

When Cam opened our front door to leave for school, this is the scene that met him. yikes!So much for neighbourhood watch! Needless to say it took us a good 20 minutes & the help of our Cami and a nice neighbour to take all the signs down. They now sit in our side yard. Now what do I do with all of these?

Your Calvary Murrieta Warriors

2008-11-02T09:14:00.000-08:00

I know, I know...Everyone out there has been wondering, when is Cam gonna update us on his football season. Well, your wish has come true! The Warriors have had a tough season this year. We have played a very tough schedule. Here is a breakdown so far:

Game 1: CMCS (10) vs. L.A. Baptist (25): 0-1

Game 2: CMCS (43) vs. Horizon (43): 0-1-1

Game 3: CMCS (6) vs. Ontario Christian (25): 0-2-1

Game 4: CMCS (14) vs. Heritage (28): 0-3-1

Game 5: CMCS (48) vs. Capistrano Valley Christian (13): 1-3-1

Game 6: CMCS (7) vs. Lakeside (28): 1-4-1

Game 7: CMCS (51) vs. Firebaugh (2): 2-4-1

Game 8 (league): CMCS (37) vs. Hamilton (7): 3-4-1/1-0

Game 9 (league): CMCS vs. Linfield Christian - November 7

Game 10 (league): CMCS vs. Riverside Christian - November 14

If the Warriors win one out of the last two games, we will advance to the playoffs. They will both be very tough games. Stay tuned to your local "On Bended Knee" blog, as I will come back to update you at the end of the regular season. God bless you and GO WARRIORS!

just some pics

2008-10-14T17:15:00.000-07:00

I have so many pictures I'd love to share with you, here are just a few from last week.

Caylee has discovered coloring, whenever Cami gets out her supplies, Caylee is right there to play too. It's so fun watching them create art together. Cami is always so excited for Caylee she proudly hangs Caylee's creations on the refrigerator for her.

Cami has a new thing of either not wanting to look at the camera or batting her eyes like a princess.

A few pictures from playtime in the backyard.

Mama trying to get in on one of the photos...

This has got to be one of the best pics ever, love this photo.

Those eyes are simply captivating!

Tummy Time

2008-10-04T10:00:00.003-07:00

Caleb loves to play on his tummy. Sometimes he gets so excited he scoots forward! Before I know it he's gonna be on the move, he's gotta catch his sisters.

Both Cami & Caylee love to entertain Caleb. It's so precious watching all three interact together.

I'm pretty sure in the above picture Caleb is asking Caylee if Mama ever stops taking pictures...

2008-10-02T10:06:00.000-07:00

This morning the girls were playing outside while I nursed Caleb. All of a sudden I'm hearing lots of giggles. So I've gotta go check out what they are up to...

Now mind you it's not even 7:30am, but it's getting warm enough already to play in our sprinklers. Needless to say, Caylee had a blast! I wish you could really get a good look at her hair, Cami had got her hands all wet & "washed" Caylee's hair for her. It was very funny/cute.

2008-09-29T12:24:00.000-07:00

today our "little" boy had his 2 month check-up. Now I knew his 3-6 months clothes are starting to fit a bit snug but I didn't expect our Boo to weigh 16, yes 16 pounds! and he's already 24" tall! dr said he looks great & has wonderful neck strength for his age & he's in the 99th percentile, yikes! then I he had to get 4 shots, poor baby. Cami was very concerned why he had so many band-aids on, she kissed all of them for him. as expected he is super tired & a bit cranky, can't blame the sweetie.

Daddy & Caleb having a conversation about what who's hair is cooler.

Our Ladybug who is a self proclaimed princess playing dress-up in the latest costume from Auntie Alisha. (Thanks Alisha, Cami is loving all the dress-up clothes you gave to us!)

Our Butterfly:

Today she had her 18 month check-up & it seems all is great. PTL! She weights in at a healthy 25 pounds & is 31" tall. Her dr seemed impressed with the number of words she says. She did have to get one shot but took it like a champ.

Here are a couple pics from this morning & this past weekend. (She was trying to be sneaky & get some of Daddy's yummy drink.)

OK I can't make my pictures line up correctly, sorry!

just a few to share

2008-09-26T10:33:00.000-07:00

Last week Boo turned 2 months, already!

I decided every month I would put him next to a football & take a pic, here he is. Oh and I also put him in the cute "I'm the little brother" onsie my MIL bought for him. Scary, it's a 3 month size & that was the last time he'll be in it, it's just too tight now!

This was our Butterfly this week while fighting the flu. Poor baby, she had no smiles in her. Thankfully she is all better, just in time for another football game!

Remember this outfit? The one we showed to let you all know Boo is a boy? Here he is, future NFL star!

a few pics

2008-09-22T08:36:00.000-07:00

LIFE IS CRAZY BUSY!

here are a few pics from the last 2 weeks, enjoy

I hope to share more pics & what's been going on as soon as our little Butterfly stops throwing up!

What do YOU think?

2008-09-08T12:39:00.000-07:00

When I had Caylee I seriously considered buying a baby wrap or baby sling. I looked at a ton of different ones on eBay & Amazon, but I became so overwhelmed with all the options I decided to not pursue it. Well, the thought/desire is back. Why? As much as I enjoy the bjorn I was given when we had Cami, I am really needing something that is easier on my back. Just like I did with the girls, Caleb will be in some sort of sling or carrier for the upcoming football season. What draws me to the sling the most is the fact that you are suppose to be able to nurse when the baby is in it. This would be a HUGE plus for me during games & other outings. Caleb is so distracted when he's eating I can't wear a nursing cover, he just stares at the pattern of the material. With the slings you can usually get either a double sided one with one side being a solid color, or buy a solid color. Am I making sense? This is what I need for you, your opinion. Take a look at these & tell me if you have used or know someone who used any of these styles & what you or they thought of it.

Thanks in advance for your input!

Friday Five!

2008-08-29T16:47:00.000-07:00

Doesn't that first picture just make you smile?

I love it! Our little Boo is getting very social with smiles & a few coos. These pics of Caleb are from today. Look at the onsies he's wearing, looks like it fits pretty good, don't you think? Pretty crazy because it's a 3-6 month size!!! Let's remember he's only 6 weeks old, yikes! Our boy likes, no he loves to eat!

The two pics of Caylee are from this past week. She is learning to use a fork & spoon, she loves it! Also when you ask her to make a "funny face" this is what you usually get. My kids crack me up.

a boost

2008-08-24T14:25:00.000-07:00

I took this little quiz & I have to say the results gave me a much needed ego boost.

If you have a minute, try it out, it's just for fun.

You Are Triathlon

In one word, you are simply amazing.
Super competent, super driven, and super skilled - you bring a lot to the table.
You rise to any challenge, and you enjoy challenging yourself.

What Olympic Sport Are You?

still here...

2008-08-21T13:57:00.000-07:00

Yup, I'm still here. Sometimes it doesn't feel like it. Let's face it, I'm tired! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mama, especially to the three blessings the Lord has given to us. But wow, it sure does keep me busy. To be honest, I'm looking forward to October. Why? Cooler weather, Boo will be sleeping through the night, our routine will be well established (for all the kids), life will be back to a new normal for us. & of course I'm hoping my baby pudge will be history, or at least much smaller then it is now...wow it can wreek havoc on a woman's self-esteem.

OK, all done venting.

BTW - I do have a post & pics about Cami's first day of school. Once the pics are ready I'll post for you. In the mean time, here are some random photos.

Target, 2 miles & 3 weeks...

2008-08-09T07:38:00.000-07:00

I did it, my first time going somewhere with all 3 kids. It was Target, of course. I had just a few things to get & was determined to give it a go, and it worked. The popcorn helped to keep Cami busy, the crackers kept Caylee happy & having Caleb in the bejorn let him sleep. It was a quick, but tiring trip & we all survived! Now, the grocery store...or maybe not! Who can come babysit? ;-)

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With Cami starting preschool this coming Wednesday I have been trying to figure out a schedule for us. Of course part of that was packing all 3 kiddos up to take Cami to school & then do it again a few hours later to pick her up too. I had a "brilliant" idea, the school is about 1.4 miles away, why not walk? Now I just needed to know for sure how long it would take to make this journey. So yesterday I put the girls in my jogging stroller & loaded Caleb into the bejorn & off we went. It wasn't bad, just over a half hour & that included 2 water breaks, stopping for the dropped shoe & retrieving the dropped blankie (into the gutter, ick!). The bonus was being able to see Cam & show off the kids to all the adoring "fans" at his school. But now for the walk home...why, again, did I decide this was a good idea? What, is it like 90+ degrees out? OK Jess, you can do it, just keep going. Maybe Cami will want to get out of the stroller and walk? No fat chance! Her response, "it's too hot to walk Mommy". LOL We all made it home, literally dripping with sweat! But what did I learn, trying to walk nearly 3 miles after no exercise for 3 plus weeks, only a handful of hours for sleep for the last 3 weeks, still recovering from major abdominal surgery, & pushing a double stroller & carrying the baby, IT WAS A BIT MUCH! I'll give myself a few more days & try another, shorter walk. And for now, I'll drive Cami to school.

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Yesterday our Boo turned 3 weeks old & finally had a check-up with his dr. Caleb is doing great, he now weights 10lbs 12ozs & is 21 1/2" long. Praise the Lord! Here are a few pics of our bubba from the last 2 weeks. (On the bummer side of things, our camera has been sent in for repair so no new pictures!)

Her "princess party"

2008-08-05T14:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry, no time to edit these pics but I really want to share them. This past Saturday we got to celebrate our Ladybug's 4th birthday. Cami had a blast & loved having friends over to help celebrate. Of course she also enjoyed opening her presents ;-)

(OK I just realized all the photos did not load in the order I wanted them to...oh well. I'm sure you'll still enjoy. I also made sure to have a pic of Caylee & Caleb too.)

August 4th

2008-08-04T15:41:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard someone say something like; "when I opened my Bible today the scripture really spoke to me, it was exactly what I needed to hear". I have heard several people say this about various issues or just days in their lives. I never felt that, ever! I figured I just wasn't listening well enough or I really was not "getting it", whatever God had wanted to share with me. Maybe somehow I missed it...Now I know the Lord loves me, unconditionally, I'm one of His daughters & that brings me joy and peace. But today, today when I finally opened up my devotional (I haven't looked at it since Caleb was born) God put exactly what I needed to read right under my nose. The coolest thing, this devotional is set for each day of the year, my Father knew that today would be the first day I got back into His word & He knew how desperate I was feeling for His love. I can't even begin to share with you how special it makes me feel to know that the Lord had a special appointment set aside just for the two of us today!

The devotional had several scriptures from the Pslams, but here is one that I will be writing & putting up on my bathroom mirror;

"But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice." Pslam 55: 16-17

And just so you know, today is my first official day on my own with the three kiddos. I have been stressing over today for the last four days now...I know it will get easier once Caleb sleeps better at night. I praise the Lord for our beautiful children, what a delight they are to us. Even at 3am!

4 already!

2008-07-31T08:49:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADYBUG!!!!

I can't believe my "baby" is 4 today, wow how fast it goes.

I decided it would be fun to interview Cami (of course this will all be going on

a LO for her scrapbook).

Favorite dinner: Grilled Cheese

Favorite color: Blue

Favorite Princess: Cinderella

Favorite dessert: Ice Cream (aka frozen yogurt)

Favorite cartoon: Little Bear

Favorite song to sing: Jesus Loves Me

Favorite song to dance to: the Hot Dog Dance (from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse)

What else do you like? ANYTHING Princess!

(How did I end up with a girl who likes everything princess?)

Cami is a huge helper around the house, she loves to give hugs 'n kisses & she is an awesome big sister. It's been a wonderful blessing to watch her become who she is today. In just two short weeks Cami will be starting preschool & she couldn't be more excited!

All the pictures are from this week.

reconnecting

2008-07-26T14:37:00.000-07:00

I love being a mama!

Hi, it's me. I have thought about so many things I want to share with you all, but of course I just can't find nor justify the time to sit down in front of the computer to type it all out. But today I am starting to feel (dare I say it...) somewhat "normal". My pain is really starting to subside & that has a huge impact on how everything else is working out. Let me see if I can give you an update on the whole family;

Caleb - right now napping in his crib but sure to wake up soon to nurse. He is the easiest baby I've had so far to nurse, we have had no problems PTL! (The girls gave me so much trouble, it's a wonder I never gave up.) We are starting to enjoy more awake time with him & he is stretching his night feedings to 4 hours in between (instead of 2 or 3). All in all, this is the easiest baby we've had! (The Lord knows what we can handle.)

Caylee - is finally letting me hold her & love her again. It took her a few days to warm up to me. I can't blame her really. She is still getting over a cold & is now teething, looks like the last 4 teeth are trying to come in, poor thing. She loves to bring Boo his blanket & pat his head while he nurses.

Cami - is head over heals for her brother. She is always wanting to hold him, kiss him, touch him & tickle him. She is doing great, trying to adjust (like the rest of us). Can you believe she'll be 4 this week?

Cam - has been the best hubby & daddy I could have ever prayed for. He is very helpful and supportive in every way for me & the kids. We're starting his 2nd week off & I am so thankful for God's perfect timing. I'm not sure how I would be if he was already back at school and/or football.

Mama - healing well, finally out of her jammies, looking forward to raising 3 beautiful children for the Lord. I already feel that I can handle being a mom of 3 & I feel (right now) that I have passed most of the post partum depression I battled with the girls. I realize it's all day-to-day still, but I'm thankful for this good day!

That's it for now, thanks for all your prayers & sweet comments.

More of our little bubba

2008-07-22T21:03:00.000-07:00

Introducing....

2008-07-19T22:00:00.001-07:00

Hello Everyone!! This is Aunite Cappy filling in for Jess tonight. I just returned from the hospital where I got to meet

Caleb Timothy Stevens
8lbs 14oz
Born at 7:00pm July 18, 2008

He and mommy and daddy are doing well. Jess is slowly making a good recovery and Cam is starting to enjoy the itty bitty plastic recliner that he gets to sleep on!!

** Please keep Caleb in your prayers. He is being observed in the NICU. Initially his heart rate was a bit fast and his respiratory rate was high. The Dr's beleive it is the stress of coming into this world!! He has been improving over the last 24hrs. He was stable and able to nurse the time I was there. Cam and Jess will fill in more details as they get a chance**

Here he is trying to suck his thumb!! That's his little IV on his hand.

Sweet mommy moments!!

More pics and details to come when the three of them get home!

one last picture

2008-07-18T05:55:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post one last belly shot for you all before our Boo joins us! (Side note, I now measure 50 1/2 inches around...) How do I know it's the last photo? Well, today around 5pm, Boo will make his debut! After lots of prayer, thinking & talking about it, we have decided that the risks, what-if's, & possible complications just aren't worth a second VBAC. We will be leaving for the hospital around 2:30pm today for scheduled C-section. And I have to say, I have such a peace about it, it's awesome! I love when you are following your Father's will, and you know it!

Yesterday Cam & I met with my dr who gave us lots more info, answered our questions & sent us off to make a decision. Thankfully we didn't have to try and make this big decision with our two girls needing our attention. Cam had arranged a babysitter (last week, before any of this decision stuff came up) so we could go out & celebrate my birthday. We talked non-stop on our way to the restaurant & I knew by the time we arrived what I wanted to do. It was awesome, I felt like a weight had been lifted (not the big one in my belly, but that will happen in less then 12 hours now...).

We very much appreciate all your prayers. Thank you for reading my BLOG & leaving such encouraging messages. It's a blessing to see all your sweet messages! Hopefully there will be internet access at the hospital so Cam can update this BLOG after our boy is born. Until then, God Bless you!

Prayers, please

2008-07-15T20:36:00.000-07:00

Tonight I had my 38 week mid-wife apt. She confirmed the reading of the Ultrasound, that as of last week Boo was measuring 8 1/2 pounds, then. Which by their terms means he could be 10 pounds if we are still pregnant come my due date, July 26th. Before I continue on, please know 3 things;

My prayer has been & continues to be, that the Lord's will be done regarding how Boo will be delivered
I trust my mid-wife, fully
I am very emotional as I share this with you

Due to the projected size of our little boy my mid-wife has fully recommended a c-section. Why? Because they believe it to be very possible that Boo would end up with shoulder dystocia. (I looked at several websites trying to find the best description of this, and this was the best way I can think of to "explain" it to all who have never talked to a doctor about this topic.)

So, now what? I will be meeting with a doctor (instead of my mid-wife) on Thursday evening. Basically the apt will be to further discuss the risks of natural delivery of a big baby, answer any more questions Cam or I have, and to possibly schedule a c-section (if that what we choose).

Now my big question was, what happens if my water breaks or my contractions become (more) regular? Call Labor & Delivery @ our hospital & more then likely, they will have me come in right away.

Other details, I am 1cm dilated, 50% effaced & Boo is at -2 station.

I thank you all so much for your continued prayers and support. As I have asked previously, please continue to pray that the Lord's will be done in regards to Boo's delivery & that when asked our final decision we have a full peace with that decision.

not much happening...

2008-07-14T10:57:00.000-07:00

I so wish I could say that I'm having contractions & Boo is on his way, but that's just not the case...

On Saturday I had contractions every 10 minutes from about 10am to 6pm, and then they stopped! Talk about bummed out & tired.

Sunday they were off & on, more strong then not, but again, nothing consistent. I've had a few wake me up during the nights, but nothing exciting.

This morning I decided to brave the heat & take the girls for a walk around the block, it was nice to get out & about. But by the time we got home, I was soaked with sweat, good times. LOL

For the rest of the day we will hang out in the coolness of our home & then Cami has gymnastics tonight. It's always fun (and distracting) to watch Cami in class & Caylee keeps me running around after her the whole hour.

So now, I am looking forward to tomorrow.

I have a hair apt in the early afternoon & then a mid-wife apt in the evening. Prayerfully all these contractions have done something to get me ready for Boo. I'll update tomorrow night.

our not-so-little boy Boo

2008-07-11T07:19:00.000-07:00

Last night my ultrasound apt was quick & just a little bit informative. The jist of what the tech shared with me;

Boo is already measuring a healthy 8 1/2 pounds! (I'm not even 38 weeks yet...)
He is too big to have a new picture taken...
He is head down & facing my spine, so I didn't get to see his face, bummer
He seems to have some hair already
We have definite confirmation that he is a boy ;-)

To give you an idea on the sizes of babies I'm "use to", Peanut was 7.5 & Squirt was 7.4, they were both born at 38 weeks & 2 days. Needless to say, I sooo hoping that he gets here very soon!

Also, I did have some pretty consistent contractions yesterday for 5+ hours! I was starting to get a bit excited and they subsided a bit. They continued, very mildly, throughout the night & I'm still feeling them this morning. Here's to hoping & praying that our Boo is really ready to meet us in the next few days.

Pregnancy Brain

2008-07-09T08:46:00.000-07:00

So if you have never claimed it, I'm sure you've heard another glowing-with-child woman say it "I have pregnancy brain, I just can't seem to remember like I use to". Well I would like to think that my most recent "pregnancy brain" issue takes the cake, at least for me.

June 2nd I receive a jury summons, I'm suppose to report on Monday, June 30th. I check the calendar and realize that I'm gonna be 36 weeks pregnant, not so sure that would be a good idea for me to be 45 minutes from home & who's gonna watch my girls? So I quickly look over all the paperwork they send along and can't find a thing that says being pregnant is a valid excuse for being excused from serving....hmph...I'll need to look into this & be sure I get excused.

...life goes on...very quickly...

Wednesday July 2nd, I pull my bills to pay them for the month. And what do I find, yup, my jury summons, Monday June 30th!!!!!!!!! Oh my, holy no, this is just not good. Don't panic, the cops aren't at your door to take you away for not showing up Monday morning. Deep breath, call Cam. He says to call, talk to a Court Reporter & just tell the truth, it really is the best thing to do. Really, I have to call them?

In reading through the paperwork again I realize they now have you call in the evening prior to your date of service. A recording will tell you when to report. I punch in my juror i.d. & wait to see what happens...let's remember, it's Wednesday & I was suppose to make this call on Sunday night...and the recording informs me "your group needs to call back tonight after 7pm to receive your report date and time". Oh serious? So, even if I'd called Sunday night then I would not have had to report to the court house yet...big sigh of relief. Now, I need to still talk to a Court Reporter and see if I can get excused at this late date. I can't tell you how many times I call & sit on hold, only to get hung-up on and hear a recording saying all lines are busy, please try calling back later...needless to say I NEVER get a hold of a live person to seek their help in getting excused (for being pregnant & having pregnancy brain, who would want me on their jury?).

I call with my juror i.d. at 7:15pm that night & the friendly lady on the recording says, "your group has not been selected to report at this time. Thank you, your jury duty has now been served for the year." Wha????? Serious? Praise the Lord!!!

Needless to say I stopped and prayed, out loud, right then and there. Talk about our Father's Grace, it is more then sufficient for us. He knows what is best for His children. (Now I don't have to worry about receiving another summons during the first year of Boo's life.)

That's my story, & I'm stickin' to it. Because if it went any differently, I don't remember ;-)

2008-07-08T17:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't updated. Here is a quick update on the status of our little Boo;

My Ultrasound to measure just how big this little guy might be has been rescheduled for this Thursday, the 10th @ 8pm! And get this, they want me to drink 12 ounces of water 30 minutes before the apt time & NOT use the bathroom...I sure hope they don't mind cleaning up after me LOL!

On Friday, the 4th of July I had some intense pain "down there". Not contractions, but certainly something I never experienced with the girls.

Since Sunday afternoon I have been having contractions VERY sporadically. And they stay with me if I'm sitting, walking, and even laying down on the left side. (And yes, I am staying very well hydrated.) So I know something is starting to change. For those that are curious, they range from 8 minutes apart to 14 minutes. I always get at least a few to deal with.

To be honest, at this point, I would love to have this little guy 10 days before the due date. Why? Because it would be on my birthday. Now how cool would that be? I mean, I don't really celebrate anymore anyway, so I'd love to share it with my son. (That sounds/looks weird, my son, wow.) But on the other hand, my stomach hurts so bad from stretching so much, my hips are killing me, & sleep, well, hopefully I'll be able to get some sleep by this time next year ;-)

Ok, well, if the Ultrasound Tech gives me any info I promise to share it with you by Friday. Otherwise, my next mid-wife apt is next Tuesday evening.

Thanks for your prayers!

36 week update

2008-07-01T09:13:00.000-07:00

Here I am, all 49" of me! Amazing, isn't it? The scary part, I was only 47" when I delivered Caylee at 38 weeks. (And for those that watch Jon & Kate Plus 8, Kate was 52" when she delivered her sextuplets...) My thoughts, be afraid, be very afraid! LOL I've gotta laugh because so many people, now on a daily basis, asking "when are you due" or "you must be having twins" "or you have got to be due any minute now". If I don't laugh, I'll cry! Anywho, that's not what you want to know about. Here is a small idea of how my check-up went yesterday...

To start, I was there for a good hour and a half, normally it takes all of 20 minutes. Thankfully Cam came & was the snack keeper for the girls. But I didn't pack nearly enough crackers & water for such a long visit. Who knew! Ok, seriously now. For those that are done reading, a quick summary of the apt, this is a big boy for his "age" & the two doctors I saw could not settle on how big he's measuring...yikes!

The first mid-wife came in, did her normal thing & when she measured my belly she said, oh we're looking at 39 weeks. Say what? I'm suppose to only be 36....The second mid-wife comes in, I'm 39 weeks, no wait, he's moving around, 38 weeks, or, I'm not so sure how big this boy is measuring...After the two discussed for some time the movement of the baby, the "age" our Boo is suppose to be versus the "age" he is measuring they decided, I NEED ANOTHER ULTRASOUND! They want a technician to do a better guess at the size/weight of our Boo. Sounds good to me, so far. The part that I didn't enjoy was the next discussion, a possible C-Section. Now anyone who was around when I received the devastating news of needing a C for Cami, I'm almost as upset this time. The only reason the mid-wife brought this up is if this baby is so big it may be in our (his & mine) best interest to have another C. But, before I schedule a date for this I'm waiting for my ultrasound. I am praying for God's will in this situation. Please join me. I should know by tomorrow when my ultrasound is scheduled for (they say between now & the 14th). I'll update again with the apt info.

Sorry this post isn't better written but it's all news I didn't expect to receive yesterday. Oh and for those mama's out there wanting to know the gritty details, I'm not dialated & still at a -3 station. bummer!

(please excuse the un-edited photo, Cam bought me an awesome new photo editing program & I have yet to read the book...)

**update**my ultrasound is scheduled for this Thursday, July 3rd @ 5:30pm

signs...

2008-06-24T07:35:00.000-07:00

What's your sign?

Because this is my new sign...

My Wish

2008-06-19T08:16:00.001-07:00

This is something I have been wanting to share for more than six months now. Without making myself cry (which happens pretty easy these days) let me attempt to give you a bit of my heart behind this song.

Easter morning, 1986, UCLA Medical Center
Aunt Alice comes in and let's my Grandma & I know that my Daddy has just gone home to be with the Lord. I'm looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, wearing one of my Daddy's favorite sweaters, and although I'm only 11 years old, I know my life has just changed, in a very big way. I'm not an orphan by any means, among a very loving and close-nit family, my Mom is in the hospital room grieving the loss of her husband, best friend, and high-school sweetheart.

22 Years Later; March 2008
We're having a baby boy! Without hesitation Cam says, well, we have a middle name for our boy, Timothy. What a wonderful husband I have, without any thought of himself or his own Dad, he knows I have always intended to use my Daddy's name as my first born sons middle name. I heave a huge sigh of relief, thankfulness, and a bit of sorrow too.

It's been hard with each pregnancy, knowing my Daddy wasn't going to be there after the birth to hold and love his grandchildren. But now, now I'm having a boy. A little boy that will bear his name and prayerfully a small bit of him too. Needless to say, this pregnancy, knowing that we are having a boy (as appose to not knowing what we are having, which is what we did with the girls pregnancies) has been tough on my emotions.

This past Christmas Cam got me a Rascal Flatts CD that has a song called "My Wish". When I first heard the song, and pretty much every time since, I am moved to tears. My thought was "I sure hope Cami or Caylee will let me encourage them to use this song as their Father/Daughter dance on their wedding day." But then I thought, why can't this be a song for my Daddy and I? I see no reason why not. Just because we can't share a dance, I would like to think that it says everything my Daddy would wish for me. Although I only had my Daddy a short time, I have never doubted that he loved me, with his whole being and I also know that he loved being a my Dad.

Now what I had planned to do was create a slide show of my Daddy and I to play while you listen to the song, but I changed my mind. I just want you to hear the words. I don't expect them to touch you in the same way they have touched me, but I think it's a beautiful song and hope you enjoy it for your own reasons.