Monday, January 10, 2011

pessimist, no more?!?

*This was originally posted on Facebook in my "Notes" section, but through encouragement, will now be posting my 365 in 365 notes on my blog...thanks Cam & Cares for the encouragement!


pes·si·mist

   [pes-uh-mist] Show IPA

–noun

1. a person who habitually sees or anticipates the worst or is disposed to be gloomy.

2. an adherent of the doctrine of pessimism.


clinical depression

  –noun

Psychiatry

a depression so severe as to be considered abnormal,either because of no obvious

environmental causes, or becausethe reaction to unfortunate life circumstances is more intense

or prolonged than would generally be expected.



I'm not one to open up to many people, I'm not one to share my deepest thoughts, I'm not one who wants to let you in. I'm not just one, I'm one of far too many females out there!



My thoughts will be scattered, for sure. My consistency will be lacking, I know. My words could be confusing, often. And my faith & belief in my Lord may upset or offend you. But, I feel I am doing what I'm suppose to do. Sharing it ALL, as I'm lead.



Pretty much for as far back as I can remember (around junior high age) I would consider myself to be pessimistic. Not too unusual for a lot of people. Since last November (2009) I have been diagnosed with clinical depression*. Sadly, this too is quickly becoming not too unusual for a lot of people.



Being a pessimist is something I am (for the most part), fine with. Never thought of wanting that to change, it is a part of what makes me who I am. But, dealing with (severe) clinical depression is something I very much want to change, for the good. I now see these two personality influences, for me, go hand in hand. Therefore, let's work on changing them both, shall we? The whole thought process, idea of "change" has come from the inspiration of my wonderful husband and best friend.



Now, it's time to start on the path to being a bit more positive...

"365 in 365"

In another Note (blog post) I will update, what exactly that is :-)



*Side Note - There is a whole lot more to "this" and I know at some point I'll share bit by bit. Because it is a part of who I am, like it or not. Not you, me!



Because He died, I live. & need to choose to live more boldly and stand out from the rest.

Jess


2 comments:

Camerons said...

I love you, my hot bloggin' mama!!

Aunt Alice said...

I love you!